once when I was waking up

I caught a bus to whoknowswhere

and wondered when the world would sup

on my remains my bones my hair

first I sought out wisps of wood

from trees that brokered death

and then I taught the butterflies

to sink and swallow all my breath

they drank it in and dined on love

the leaves descended like temples of glass

crashing down upon their Gods

as willful devils danced above

oh well I said when the world was plain

I guess I'll give myself a pass

I wondered whether I was insane

or if I'd become a slutty lass

and so I caught the bus again

chatting up the passengers

like a committed messenger

from the Gods

I had very important things to say

but saying them caused me to forget

so I got off the bus again

and looked around at the empty landscape

it was cold but soon it would be hot

the leaves taught the temples, ruined, how to fall

there were ruins everywhere!

so I took out my camera

I told all the enemy spirits in my midst

to scatter and I photographed them scattering:

and then I let their hearts define

how devils could consume their lot

I shouted I screamed I drank their wine

I rolled a joint and smoked their pot

and then I caught that bus again

until the bartered sun did set

scoring eleven out of ten

and turning myself into my own pet

with nothing to do but please myself

in the small warm bed of my dreams

and I drew pictures to pass the time

until the bus reached its baleful destination

and the dark clouds of coupling

rewarded me with intense experiences

with all kinds of strangers

in the bathroom on the bus

we also smoked cigarettes back there

which was against the regulations

then as now

but we thought irreducibly why not


the wind was spectral fine and fear

like patterns in the whorl of an ear

and whispers in the holes in our underwear

and that whole transitional period

for which we gave unerring thanks

like pools of money in prissy banks

waiting for the spending to begin

spending on beauty and joy and sin!

and glancing toward old wisdom's frame

I thought I saw some blooms again

so I got off bidding new friends goodbye

and wandered into the city in my mind

dancing a fine calypso rhythm

that really mattered to the man in me

so I let him have it

and that's when adventures really began

I saw such beautiful emotions

in three dimensions

in the street food stalls with their steaming woks

and in the wonder of the throngs

of misanthropic shoppers

clobbering each other with their bags

and the balloons that seemed to soar

above everything, some tethered, some

free to roam as they pleased

it was the same old romantic tradition

renounced and resurrected

the rumors told about its demise

deeply refuted in the name of

negation and then celebrated

also in the name of negation

what couldn't be done in the name of negation

I wondered

nothing

and I sat down to eat

in that messy fraternity

free to express my melancholy

at the expense of everyone who had previously mattered to me